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Funny Wedding Vows

Funny wedding vows are certainly not for everyone! But if funny is your nature and you want to be sure your guests will be talking about your wedding for years to come, funny wedding vows are sure to make a lasting impression.

Some brides worry that traditional vows will get them too choked up, and choose to inject some humor into the ceremony to keep the tears at bay. But keep in mind, the vows are the part of the wedding where you make promises to each other, usually conveying attributes of giving of oneself, faithfulness, unconditionality and permanence.

Here are some ways to inject a bit of humor into your wedding vows, and a joke about wedding vows to help inspire you in thinking of your own!

Funny Wedding Vows - Financial Jibes

I, John, take you Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold and to be financially responsible for from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I, Mary, take you John, to be my lawfully wedded husband... for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for when you buy all those expensive toys...

Funny Wedding Vows from Officiant to the Bride

Do you promise to love, honor, cook for, clean up after, surrender your share of the blanket to, live with the flatulence of, relinquish the remote to and with the toilet seat after until death do you part?

Funny Wedding Vows from Officiant to the Groom

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, and you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.

Jokes About Funny Wedding Vows

Let's Make a Deal

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the minister with an unusual offer. I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey and forsake all others," I want you to just leave that part out."

He passed the puzzled minister the cash and walked away satisfied.

On the wedding day, when the minister came to the groom's vows, he looked the young man in the eye and said, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped, looked around at the guests, and managed to anser, "I shall." Then he leaned toward the minister and hissed, "I thought we had a deal!"

The minister slipped the $100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."

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